Have you ever really really really wanted to give a man the business, but miss thang down there wasn't having it. Wouldn't stay wet, was making you feel uncomfortable, the flow just wasn't right or there. You looking at this scrumptulousness of a man and she just acting a straight fool.This happened to me back in college. I really liked this dude and wanted to turn his ass out and she had me looking a damn fool. Lucky for me I had the chance to redeem myself but that can really mess up the pussy's ego.
I literally wanted to open my legs and bend my back and far as I could to go to get as close as I could to her, to have a little heart to heart. The conversation would have went something like this:
Me : Now why you can't act right?
Pussy : What you talking bout Eb?
Me : Stop playing... you know I been trying to get at this cat for a minute, and when I get the chance you acting like you don't want it. Don't you know that when I want it, we both want it, and have to act as such.
Pussy : Well why is it only when you want it that I have to also want it?
Me : Because you don't know how to pick them. Every time you getting all moist by yourself we end up letting someone in that doesn't measure up in size, or does measure up in size and isn't in there long enough to sop up all the juices.
Pussy : True, True... so I will listen to you from now on.
Just like that and now me and her have an agreement when it comes to this. Actually we don't, she just stays moist all the time so that she doesn't make the mistake as to whether we are on the same page or not. Yeah I got that "wet, wet" now. Sometimes I can see a fine brother on the train and she leaves me rushing home to change my underwear. I hate when that happens, but I rather she be wet all the time, then needing her to be and she ain't.
lol... this conversation reminds me of a song on Missy Elliot's first album called PussyCat
The hook goes:
Pussy don't fail me nowClick here to listen to the entire track.
I gotta turn this nigga out
So he don't want nobody else
But me and only me
19 comments:
THAT iz funny az hayl! but i know how to get her going now ... ALWAYZ;-)! LOL!!
EB,
What a wit you are! LOVE This...and I know something about this!
Yes I HAVE been in this embarassing situation. I've SO wanted to get my groove on, taste me some man-sword and wham - dry as a nun's crotch. I can't figure out why, but I try to NOT focus on it, get on with the foreplay and before long it's dripping where it needs to be dripping!
pussy ego lol
I guess the sight of dick must cause your levee to break.
You know Eb. Your wetness is likely to cause bonerage.
ladies...
ladies...
ladies...
got a dry pussy?
here's what'cha do.
1) be sure to rub that clit down, but not too-too much or it'll get irritated and piss the pussy-off, hence no mo-fo to go.
2) watch a porn film together...and YOU have the dvd ret tuh go!
3) make that summ bitch eat it, no frontin' (and if he don't eat it, he don't deserve it) ....it'll naturally get wet but will evaporate like steam within five minutes. hump hard and fast, spare no second!
...*bonus*, make him eat it with a cough drop, preferably a flavored one like cherry, that menthol will kick in on that pussy, like vick-sab under your nose...lol trust me, your pussy will wake up then!
4) don't force it and think fuggin' will make it water...it might, but more than likely it won't, especially if he's wearing a rubber. a rubberized dick and a dry pussy is like rubbin' two sticks together and "poof!"...THAT'S A FIRE!!!!
no 9-1-1 call needed, just a splash of water..... (;-P
and if you have to use a water souble lubricant like KY, F- that, go for "ASTROGLIDE"...that's the shit!!!! a couple of drops will do the trick, plus a combo of rubblin', lickin' and stickin' just might do the trick.
if that don't work, call it a wrap and go to sleep.....zzzzzzz!!!!
I think Lance's suggestions need to be a post! LOL! Lance - u need to be a contributor & do a weekly: "What I KNOW 'bout Pussy" post - cuz Bruthah U could sho' teach a few! ;-). Tweenst U & Zay - woooo weeeee! LOL! I'm laughin', but i'm serious;-)
Let's get one thing straight: If my partner isn't wet enough, the problem is ME. Pussy most definitely has a mind of it's own but I've only had this problem once. That one time, I hadn't seen my baby in months and I'll be first to admit I was too aggressive. So I backed up off Pussy and gave the rest of Ali's precious parts some well-needed attention, including a full-body massage. After nearly half a day of being ignored, Pussy was screaming for my attention. So the moral of my story is. When Pussy wants to act the spoiled brat, ignore her and lavish attention on everything else.
Peace and Love,
Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)
Wait cough drop... menthol...lmao!
@ Ali - love it...
yeah I had that happen, I was mad as hell, because like Toni Childs I specialize in results. I mean my ish was dryer that a mofo. I was so mad, no matter how much spit he hawked, like a sponge my NANA absorbed it all up.
LANCE WTF!
Hey I am with Capcity, you ought to join and do a post weekly on "What I know About Pussy" Cum ON! Shit you made me feel like I have missed a whole LOT! Shoot, should I ever have sex again...and I will, I am going to keep a cough drop just in case...hhhmmm, can you say RICCOLA!
lmao... good 1... and i remember that song!...
there was a poem type post in some blog contest thing that was just like this where a woman was having a convo with her pu**y and her heart!
it was hella tight (pun intended)
@GSweet: check out the Nikki. (http://iniquitous1.blogspot.com/) She has an awesome post about a convo including Pussy, Head, and Heart. But the post I'm refering to might have been reposted on Bloggers Delight. Nikki is so good, even if you don't find that post, the trip through her archives will have you talking to yourself, shaking your head and smiling. She's THAT good.
Peace and Love,
Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)
So dry coochie is like "flopsie" for women huh? You learn somethin new everyday...
LOL @ Andre's "flopsie"! Yep Pussies got ego, too! ;-)
okay i've been missing this...staying up all night to catch up!
if i've been drinking a lot it does take more to get ms. kitty in the mood..but a few soft wet and LONG kisses solves the problem..rapido!
ALI... thats exactly the post i was talking about... thats is 1 of the most entertaining things ive read...lol
im going to request that that be added to this blog page... if belongs here!
heres the link...
http://iniquitous1.blogspot.com/2006/08/and-then-attraction-came-to-screeching.html
Hey, I know that song, Eb!
I can't imagine having a convo with the cooch. It would probably end in an argument.
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