Excellent and she's absolutely right about skinny girls with long hair. Very annoying because everything is about their vanity and absolutely every change of position or change in action requires a man to give them a rating of their beauty and thin-ness. Make sure to bring a good book along if you believe you're going to end up a skinny girl with long hair's house or with her at a hotel because you WILL get bored with answering the same questions over and over again and that book will seem pretty interesting even if it's the Internal Revenue Code.
Living in South America and freed of US dating rituals, I sometimes look back, weirdly fondly, on the little tricks of the trade.
I have the foolproof system for fucking a beautiful, skinny, long-haired girl on the first date, if and only if, she consents to meet you at an old-fashioned steak or barbecue place for the dinner portion of the evening.
It has to be a steak or barbecue place because it has to be a place that has option of steamed vegetables or salad with no dressing or croutons. Even if she's a sworn vegetarian she'll have to settle for something like a side of creamed spinach or block potatoes or hash browns or mac n' cheese.
Once she's taken a bite of any of those foods, in her mind she's committed a sin far worse than fucking you on the first date would be. With women like that the face and figure and the idea of living forever through diet is like the bible to a Jesuit.
If she gets halfway through an order of creamed spinach, she's "pot-committed" and there's no backing out on anything.
Order wine or bourbon or brandy or whatever and it's over. It will be requested of you to come on her face within the next three hours (so long as she has a hot towel and a full bottle of Purell on the night table of course!)
But, then again, as I've written here before everything I write should carry the headline "DON'T DO DATING THE KELSO WAY."
3 comments:
thanks for the laugh before i teach class have a great weekend
Hilarious!
Excellent and she's absolutely right about skinny girls with long hair. Very annoying because everything is about their vanity and absolutely every change of position or change in action requires a man to give them a rating of their beauty and thin-ness. Make sure to bring a good book along if you believe you're going to end up a skinny girl with long hair's house or with her at a hotel because you WILL get bored with answering the same questions over and over again and that book will seem pretty interesting even if it's the Internal Revenue Code.
Living in South America and freed of US dating rituals, I sometimes look back, weirdly fondly, on the little tricks of the trade.
I have the foolproof system for fucking a beautiful, skinny, long-haired girl on the first date, if and only if, she consents to meet you at an old-fashioned steak or barbecue place for the dinner portion of the evening.
It has to be a steak or barbecue place because it has to be a place that has option of steamed vegetables or salad with no dressing or croutons. Even if she's a sworn vegetarian she'll have to settle for something like a side of creamed spinach or block potatoes or hash browns or mac n' cheese.
Once she's taken a bite of any of those foods, in her mind she's committed a sin far worse than fucking you on the first date would be. With women like that the face and figure and the idea of living forever through diet is like the bible to a Jesuit.
If she gets halfway through an order of creamed spinach, she's "pot-committed" and there's no backing out on anything.
Order wine or bourbon or brandy or whatever and it's over. It will be requested of you to come on her face within the next three hours (so long as she has a hot towel and a full bottle of Purell on the night table of course!)
But, then again, as I've written here before everything I write should carry the headline "DON'T DO DATING THE KELSO WAY."
Post a Comment