What's Your Name?

I have not yet named my cock.

Some men do this because they believe their pecker has a mind of its own. Taking that perspective, I’d say my balls each have a mind of their own as well, so if I name my cock, I’ll also need to name my balls.

Regardless of what my balls may or may not think, it’s pretty clear my cock is in charge. The balls are more like wingmen. My cock doesn’t get what he wants without them, but the cock is the one who always goes home with the pussy.

Since my cock runs the show, maybe I should call him “El Jefe”. I have Latin blood in me, which means he has Latin blood in him, especially when he makes his presence known. El Jefe makes him sound ethnic, authoritative, and like someone who gets the job done.

On the other hand, there’s something to be said for a cock who doesn’t give a shit. When a cock is too demanding, the pussy can get a stiff upper lip and then dickhead’s got nothing.

So maybe something simple. Like “Bob”. It’s short, clean, and something women do on it. The name Bob says, No pressure, just hanging out.

However, being too normal may also send the wrong message. Bob is not pushy like El Jefe, but there’s also no promise of excitement. And certainly, nothing kinky.  

Sometimes it’s difficult to get the pussy’s attention. So maybe a name that says, My cock loves to party and can do circus tricks that would make your pussy spin. You know, a name like, “One-eyed wonder weasel”.

It’s an attention grabber for sure, but more than a little cheesy and certainly a lot to live up to. I mean, my cock can do some pretty good tricks, but sometimes you get those pussies who just lie there expecting your cock to vibrate, rotate, and glow inside. My cock, unfortunately, does not come with batteries.

I need something that comprises all of these ideas into one. Something Italian maybe. Something like “Giovanni”. Suave, sophisticated, a cock who knows what he wants, but keeps it in the pants until the right moment. A cock of power, maybe even criminal—exciting and dangerous, but not presumptuous. And very very calculated.

And I could name my balls “Bada-Bing” and “Bada-Bang”.

I don’t know. What do you think? I need to mull this over for a while. This is not the sort of decision you make on a whim. It requires careful consideration and then a commitment that will be life long. Any suggestions would be welcome and certainly very helpful.