Today is one of those days where I am feeling my age. Damn. When I was a young Sister, rocking a Brother with no strings was so easy. Seamless. Uncomplicated. Sigh.
Back in the day I could flip through my little black book and call for a hook-up. If I wanted a fat-dick Brother, boom, make the call. If I wanted an artistic Brother whose foreplay was all mood and words and intellect, I would make the call. If I wanted a Brother of questionable employment but who knew his way around a clit... I could make the call.
More sighing.
Those days are gone. I am not depressed or saddened by them. I am too old for that kind of booty-call recklessness. Besides these days I like stability and true awareness and knowing someone for real.
I like having someone who knows how everything works for me. I love knowing that he knows what to do. Yes, there are moments when I wistfully drift back to the sex-for-recreation days. I do not miss them. I am glad that I had them.
When he touches me it is with the skill of a seasoned carpenter, who knows how to put in work. There is still discovery... tongues, fingers, toys. I get satisfaction. It is satisfaction on all levels. This makes the sexual pairing deep, rich and oh so damn good.
Back in the day, there was always the urgency, the desperation, the desire above all else. Now I am slower and more deliberate in my desires. It is not all or nothing. I am not going from dick to dick to dick. I leave that to the younger women still finding their sexual stride.
Stella has come and gone. My groove is back and doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
1 comment:
smh this is a similar topic I was discussing with someone the other day and they couldnt understand where I was coming from when I said - some things you do in your younger years but as you get older- you can look back and say yeah I did that but I dont miss it because Im beyong that recklessness now- nice to see someone knows/remembers how real life goes... this person was 20 years older than me- maybe they forgot what it was like to be 21 yrs old or 31 or even 41...
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