1. It is almost 2011, why do some men still refuse to eat pussy and some women still refuse give head? It's past time that everyone got with the program.
2. How do sistas with weaves and fancy hairdos fuck, or even sleep for that matter?
3. Fellas, if you like a lady, why not call her and ask her out? And the same goes for my sistas, why do we play the phone tag game?
4. For health reasons, if you have anal sex and want to go back to vaginal sex, then wash the dick before putting it back in the pussy. Be extremely clear, all orifices are NOT created equal.
5. If I like flowers and tell you I like flowers, then buy me some fucking flowers. It doesn't matter if they're gonna die in a week; I like crab cakes too and those bad boys are gone within 15 minutes of landing on my plate.
6. Conversely, if you're watching the game, I won't disturb you with idle chatter about bullshit; however, if I want some, I'm counting on you to at least position yourself so I can ride while you watch.
7. Don't ever in life ask me how much I weigh and I won't tell you when I'm faking.
8. On that note, my Sistas if you're gonna fake it, you don't have to go overboard. An Oscar winning performance is not necessary. Regretfully most men don't know what an orgasm feels like.
9. EXPLORE, my Brothas, EXPLORE! Sistas have several erogenous zones that you routinely overlook: nape of our necks, small of our backs, etc.
10. If I decide to rim you or stick my finger in your ass, it doesn't mean you're gay. It means you know how to let me please you, so turn your ass over and let me do my thang.
11. Stop asking me to do a fucking 3-some. I'm a woman and I like MEN. I'm not a woman who enjoys other women...PERIOD.
12. When I say talk dirty to me, then I mean open your mouth and tell me something.
13. If I say I wanna go on a "date" or ask you to take me out "someplace nice," that is code for "you need to spend at least $100."
14. I won't mind you hanging with the fellas, as long as you don't mind me hanging with my Sistas.
15. And finally, some words from an old flame "ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."
7 comments:
Welcome back! Love love love this!
hmmmm
ok.this is nice.eat pussy,suck dick,life goes the fuck on.
What?!?! There are still niggas out there that don't eat pussy? Thats news to me. I guess you learn something new to me everyday.
Lol.
Love This!
Damn! A hunned bucks? There's a recession on! How about $60 but you really really enjoy yourself?
Okay, just kidding.
And I solemnly swear that I will watch that game upside down if necessary if you are nice enough to make game time a blast! And ideally it would be in a room where there is a mirror behind the TV where I can watch the booty bounce during commercials and between plays...
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