I Hate To Love It

“Who the fuck is banging on my door at 2:34 in the damn morning? You best to have a big-ass check and some balloons or I’m gonna kick your ass,” I yell as I’m stomp down the stairs.

I peak out the peephole, “Just open the door Kelly.”

“Oh...hey, come on in,” I say yawning and opening the door.

“You ain’t so loud now, huh,” he says as he comes in.

“What are you doing here so late?”

“Shut up and open your fucking legs,” he says as he pushes me against the door, while thrusting his tongue down my throat, squeezing one tit with one hand and shoving his other hand in my pussy. I’m wet in no time and I cum in short order.

I hate he knows what buttons to push.
I hate he manipulates my body like this.

He takes his hand, shimmering with my juices, and brings up to my face. I want to lick his fingers, but he teases me.

“That’s right, baby...I know you wanna lick these fingers. I know you wanna taste yourself,” he taunts me as he sucks his fingers. The hand on my tit is still squeezing, causing me stay wet and pinned against the front door.

“Shut up, don’t talk,” as I open my mouth to say something.

He pulls me off the door by my titties, turns me around and pins me against the door again. It is cool against my hot, hard nipples. His warm breath on my neck is a stark contrast to the coolness of the door my cheek is feeling.

I hear the wrapper tear and I get wetter at the thought of him entering me.

“Don’t say a word. This is my pussy and I’ll fuck it whenever I want,” he whispers in my ear.

I gladly open my legs, he slides right in and I cum immediately.

I hate he knows what buttons to push.
I hate he manipulates my body like this.

He begins to slowly back up and I move with him so we stay connected. He leads me to the sofa and bends me over the back of it. He is pumping strong and steady and I’m loving it.

I say, “talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you how much I love fucking this pussy? Do you want me to tell you how much I think about this pussy? Yeah, I love fucking it. I think about it in the morning when I wake up with a hard-on and wish you were next to me so I could stick it in you. Is that what you wanna hear? You wanna know how much this big ass turned me on as soon as you opened the door. You wanna hear how your pussy tastes sweet like cantaloupe and how I could suck your titties all night. Is that what you wanna hear?”

“Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss,” I say as I cum again. This time he has to hold me because my knees start to give out.

“Well, I ain’t saying shit,” he smirks as he smacks my ass. His smacks turn into a spanking as his strokes remain constant; he’s grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back. He’s literally riding me and I’m lovin’ it.

The mix of pleasure and pain is almost too much. My body begins to convulse and his thrusts get stronger and deeper. I yell and go into a full-on orgasm of massive proportions. His 6’1” frame absorbs it and never misses a beat.

I hate he knows what buttons to push.
I hate he manipulates my body like this.

“I...can’t...take...anymore,” I pant.

“Shut up, yes you can. I know you have at least one more in you and you’re gonna give it to me.”

He exits me and leads me to the front of the sofa. He grabs a pillow, throws it on the floor and I sit on it. He pulls me up to my knees by my hair and bends me over the cushion.

“I know you have another one for me and I’m gonna get it,” he says as he begins to enter my ass. He is forceful, though gentle. I trust him and I’m completely relaxed, making it easier for him to penetrate.

As I’m moaning, he’s constantly rubbing my shoulders and fucking my ass with a milder rhythm than he did my pussy. And he’s right, there is another orgasm inside of me, in spite of my need for rest; in spite of my desire for sleep, there is another one, and it’s a biggin’.

He likes to cum quietly, so I decide to be quiet too. The intensity of us climaxing together was overwhelming. After he pulled out, I slumped right there on the floor. I couldn’t get back upstairs if someone paid me. As I lay still, trying to get my breath and some semblance of composure, I heard him washing up in the bathroom. I hadn’t budged when he came back to the living room.

He kissed me on the forehead, “I’ll call you tomorrow, get some rest.”

“Buh-bye.”

I love he knows what buttons to push.
I love he manipulates my body like this.

Couple's Massage (part 2)

Jay and I stare at each other; I'm biting my lip and he is breathing hard. We squeeze the shit out of each other's hands. I can't hold it any longer; Dick's hand is doing things only my rabbit has been able to do and I see Jane going to town on Jay's asshole.

I climax -- arching my back, yelling and the eyes rolling back in my head -- hmmmm. And Jay cums right after me -- letting out his high-pitched little scream.

The only sounds in the room are the dumb new age music and our heavy breathing. Jay and I don't say a mumbling word. What can we say? What would we say? We had just let another man and woman take us where we had only taken each other for the last 3 years.

I had lost track of our masseurs and was a little stunned when I heard them ask us to turn on our backs. We did it, only glancing at each other as we get into position. I reach for Jay's hand and am pleased to find it hanging there, waiting for mine. I turn my head and find him looking at me. He squeezes my hand, flashes a smile and I exhale.

Dick and Jane begin massaging our shoulders. It is wonderful. A sly smile comes over my face as I think Dick can touch me anywhere with those hands...and he has LOL.

Why am I chilly? Oh shit, I didn't even notice there wasn't a sheet over me, and peek over to see Jay doesn't have one covering him either. I could feel my body responding, my nipples got hard, my pussy got wet and a tingle went down my spine. Dick must've noticed my responses as well, he began fondling my breasts. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.

Oh my god...now Jane is touching my legs, massaging them. Her hands are smaller, strong, yet gentle. She trying to open my legs, I resist. I've never had a woman touch me and what if she wants to do more. She obviously has no problems licking things as she was just rimming Jay.

She uses more strength and I acquiece and exhale. What happens on vacation, stays on vacation. Jane is massaging my pussy and Dick is fondling my breasts; I turn my head and see Jay sitting on the edge of the table, watching me, as Jane sucks the life out of him. If my man is happy, that's all that counts.

Hold the hell up! If Jane is giving Jay head, then who the fuck has just started eating my pussy? I don't even care, this feels...so fucking amazing...what.is.she.doing.to.me?

I glance over, Jay can see the joy in my eyes. He pulls Jane off his dick, comes over and starts kissing me hard and deep. I do more than climax, my body explodes in ecstasy...I convulse, juice shoots out of my pussy, a sound came from deep in my belly and I began to hyper ventilate. Dick began massaging my chest to get my breathing under control.


Stay tuned.

Quirks & Idiosyncrasies

Are there some things you're reserving for that someone special?
Are there moves only your spouse or significant other will ever see?
Do you have some little quirks or idiosyncrasies that have to be carried out before you fuck?

• Kelly won't let anyone in her ass unless they've dated for at least six months.


• David won't eat a woman's pussy until he's satisfied that no one else is fucking her.


• Sylvia will suck a guy's dick on the first date, but won't rim him until their 15th fucking.


• Diane refuses to fuck unless the man is freshly showered.


• If a woman is on her period, Charles avoids the pussy like the plague.


• Jennifer will suck a dick seven days a week and twice on Sundays, but she won't let a man cum in her mouth.


• Sheila's partners have to give her a golden shower before they have sex.


• Kevin has a foot fetish and HAS to suck a woman's toes to get hard.


• Amanda gets off with her dildo before she has sex.
  

And you??????

"They" say I'm a man

Rather, "they" say I fuck like one.

Having sex is instinctual, as natural as eating when I'm hungry and drinking when I'm thirsty. When did it get all confused with love? When did having sex with someone become equated with loving someone? Love is an emotion and intercourse is the act of procreating.

I have sex when I want to and with whom I want to. Does that make me less of a woman? Does that take away from my intelligence or accomplishments? Does that make me a whore or slut? This is how my sistas get messed, falsely believing if a man has sex with them, he loves them and them alone. Now, this is also my brothas responsibility because they tell untruths to get the pussy.

Men are rewarded for the number of notches on their belt and I'm chastised for mine. Why is there a double standard? Why are men studs and women wanton? Why can't I do what comes natural to every living creature on the planet without fear of societal recrimination? I want a reward for my expertise. If practice makes perfect, then, well you know where I'm going.

I fuck for the pure pleasure of it, not to exert power. Why do women think pussy = power? Why do men think dick = dominance? We are equal partners in providing pleasure to each other, no one greater or lesser than the other.

I remember a girlfriend telling me once, "Men are just using you." And I replied, "No, I'm getting as much pleasure as they are." What's wrong with my way of thinking? Is my thinking askew? If attitude is everything, then mine is fucking fantastic.

I don't fuck like a man. I fuck like Shannon, the wonderfully full-figured, thick lipped, long haired, carmel-colored sista I am.

Blizzard Survival Kit

Let's discuss a Blizzard Survival Kit. When it snows in the DC area, folks lose their fucking minds (literally). They storm [sm. pun intended heehee] grocery, hardware and drug stores, preparing for the worst, which usually doesn't materialize; however, this Winter has required some preparation.

So, what exactly should be in a PChats Blizzard Survival Kit, great question:

• food is a necessity - make sure the dick you suck or pussy you eat can sustain you for a few days...no one wants to be stuck in the house with lackluster oral sex
  

• beverages are a necessity - double check the liquor cabinet for the necessities, vodka, gin, wine, scotch, brandy, etc. and mixers...everyone will need these to get through being stuck in the house together
  

• entertainment is a necessity - make sure you have a couple of new porno flicks or some new erotica...inspiration will soon be needed, trust me
  

• good gear is a necessity - triple check your birth control pills or your condom supply...many October, November and December babies can trace their conception back to storms

• and finally, batteries are a necessity - make sure you have a fresh pack...do I need to say anything else, really
  

Enjoy the blizzard!

Grandma was right

I want to learn from my 2009 mistakes. I wanna make better decisions. I realize I need to employ those lessons Grandma taught me as a child. If I had heeded her Mother Wit more often, I would have saved myself a lot of time, trouble and money. Grandma was right...about everything.

1. Plan for the best and be prepared for the worst. Get showered, shaved and perfumed for a night of fucking, and have your cocktail, music and fresh batteries on hand in case you have to use your ever-ready lover.
   


2. Everything has a place and a place for everything. Put your shit up when you're finished with it. Your parents, children, friends, neighbors, deliverymen and repairmen don't wanna see your dildos, whips, clit pumps, chains, handcuffs, butt plugs, lubricants, blow-up dolls, fucking machines and used condoms.
   


3. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If s/he can't fuck, chews your pussy, bites your dick or swallows your lips when kissing, appreciate his/her efforts, then get them out of your place and don't invite him back.
   


4. Keep your skirt tail down and panties pulled up. You ain't gotta fuck every dick that crosses in front of or behind you. Do some kegels and give your pussy a rest.
   


5. Haste makes waste. Don't be so quick to drop your panties or unzip your shit. At least get a dinner or movie first.
   


6. Always wear clean underwear. You never know who is gonna see them.
   


7. Think before you speak. Calling out the wrong name can be easily avoided by applying this one tidbit.
   


8. If you lay down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. You knew s/he was an ass when y'all met, is still an ass and will always be an ass, and you wonder why you're friends don't invite y'all to hang with them anymore.
   


9. All that glitters isn't gold. I ain't seen, fucked, sucked, massaged, licked, kissed a gold dipped one yet. As a BFF put it, "the best dick (pussy) you've ever had is the one you currently gettin'."
   


10. A penny saved is a penny earned. There are two things I don't buy, dick and water...I can get 'em free any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
    

And yes, we know Grandma didn't invent these sayings; however, she repeated them to us all the damn time.

From a FB to a BF in the blink of an eye

We spent a lot of time horizontal. I knew what he liked me do, how he wanted me to do it and where he wanted me to do it. He was a great FB (fuck buddy), there were no complications, no expectations, just good fucking. Then things started to change.

One evening he came over earlier than usual and we talked. We sat in the living room and had a conversation. I was freaking out on the inside! I didn't wanna talk. I knew where that could lead
--> more talking
--> getting to know each other
--> "liking" each other
--> ending with us in a relationship.
I wasn't having it. All I wanted was a steady FB...was that too fucking much to ask!!!!

Needless to say, we kept talking and one night as we humped along, he said it, "yeah baby, this is MY pussy," and he said it over and over. Kiss my ass.

So as not spoil the mood, I asked, "who's dick is it?" and without hesitating, he replied, "its YOUR dick baby." Of course it is.

Shit, once folks start naming and claiming pussy/dick, its all over.

So, during our post-climax pillow talk, my worst fears were realized:

Me.: so we're namin' & claimin' things now?"
Him: yeah
Me: really, so we rollin' like that now? we're gonna do this?
Him: yeah we are

How the hell did that happen? Where had I been during the last four months?

He moved from an FB to a BF and I have no idea how he did it.

Random thoughts, questions & suggestions about sex & relationships

1. It is almost 2011, why do some men still refuse to eat pussy and some women still refuse give head? It's past time that everyone got with the program.

2. How do sistas with weaves and fancy hairdos fuck, or even sleep for that matter?

3. Fellas, if you like a lady, why not call her and ask her out? And the same goes for my sistas, why do we play the phone tag game?

4. For health reasons, if you have anal sex and want to go back to vaginal sex, then wash the dick before putting it back in the pussy. Be extremely clear, all orifices are NOT created equal.

5. If I like flowers and tell you I like flowers, then buy me some fucking flowers. It doesn't matter if they're gonna die in a week; I like crab cakes too and those bad boys are gone within 15 minutes of landing on my plate.

6. Conversely, if you're watching the game, I won't disturb you with idle chatter about bullshit; however, if I want some, I'm counting on you to at least position yourself so I can ride while you watch.

7. Don't ever in life ask me how much I weigh and I won't tell you when I'm faking.

8. On that note, my Sistas if you're gonna fake it, you don't have to go overboard. An Oscar winning performance is not necessary. Regretfully most men don't know what an orgasm feels like.

9. EXPLORE, my Brothas, EXPLORE! Sistas have several erogenous zones that you routinely overlook: nape of our necks, small of our backs, etc.

10. If I decide to rim you or stick my finger in your ass, it doesn't mean you're gay. It means you know how to let me please you, so turn your ass over and let me do my thang.

11. Stop asking me to do a fucking 3-some. I'm a woman and I like MEN. I'm not a woman who enjoys other women...PERIOD.

12. When I say talk dirty to me, then I mean open your mouth and tell me something.

13. If I say I wanna go on a "date" or ask you to take me out "someplace nice," that is code for "you need to spend at least $100."

14. I won't mind you hanging with the fellas, as long as you don't mind me hanging with my Sistas.

15. And finally, some words from an old flame "ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

Yes or No: the ADULT version

An adult list...tell the truth folks.
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments and asks. It will be hard to answer honestly and not explain, which is part of the fun, no?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you a virgin?
Do you give oral sex?
Have you tasted your own juices/cum?
Have you ever kissed someone of your gender?
Have you have ever fucked someone of your gender?
Are you into bondage?
If yes, are you the submissive?
Have you seen your partner’s dick or pussy and changed your mind about fucking them?
Have you fucked in water?
Are you a member of the Mile High Club?
Has a kiss ever been wrong about a partner’s fucking ability?
Are you a loud lover?
Do you enjoy getting spanked? Would you do anything kinky with an animal?
Have you ever fucked during your or your partner’s period?
Have you ever called out someone else’s name during sex?
Are you into anal sex?
Have you ever given or received a golden shower?
Has a partner been better than you expected?
Is there a videotape of you having sex?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Do you swallow?
Have you ever told someone they sex was great when it wasn’t?
Have you ever regretted fucking someone?
Have you fucked in every room of your home?
Have you rimmed someone?
Do you suck toes?
Has anyone ever accidentally caught you fucking?
Have you been part of a threesome?
Have you fucked someone whose name you did not know?
Have you ever been paid for sex?
Have you worn handcuffs during sex?
Has anyone ever licked you from top to bottom?
Do you enjoy being choked while fucking?
Have you masturbated in front of your partner?
Has anyone ever eaten food off of your body?
Are you a selfish lover?
Have you fucked someone while you were wearing a blindfold?
Has your wildest sexual fantasy been fulfilled?
Has a partner’s sexual fantasy ever scared you?
Are there just some things you will not do sexually, no matter what?
Do you enjoy having your nipples pinched?
Do you own a fucking machine?
Are you a swinger?
Do you have more sexual experience than your current partner?
Do you wish your current partner was better?
Do you go to strip clubs?
Do you purchase/own/rent porn?
Does size really matter to you?
Do you think the television show “Wife Swap” should be called something else because real swapping is not occurring?

I must be dreaming

I don't know what I was thinking that night. It had to have been a dream. I got my in car with every intention of going home but I just had to see you. Before I knew it, I was knocking at your door and you were inviting me.

"I'm sorry I didn't call. I just -- I don't know. I just ended up here."

"No problem, baby. I told you you always have an open invitation to come over."

We stood around awkwardly for a few moments, unsure of what to do next.

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Yes, yes of course."

It appeared as if you were in for the evening based on the shorts and t-shirt you had on. I knew why I was there and it was pretty much now or never for me to do just what my body had been longing to do. Next thing I knew, something that laid dormat inside of me took over.

I grabbed you by your leg as you walked passed me and pulled your shorts down.

"Wait. Baby, what are you doing?"

"Shut the fuck up. I want your dick in my mouth right now so either you give it to me, or I take it. The choice is yours."

The pure shock on your face left me no choice but to whip out your dick and go to work. I had never sucked your dick before and but boy was I glad I did now. I sucked and slurped and swallowed that bad boy whole. You trembled and yelled bloody murder. You begged me to eat my pussy but I would't let you. This was my show and I was the star. Your knees buckled and I struggled to hold you up but you regained your composure and let me finish.

You begged over and over again to let you taste the pussy but I wouldn't let you. I'm not sure what happened next but I blanked out. I realized that I had your dick in my mouth and was so ashamed.

"Oh my goodness! What am I doing? I am so sorry. I have to go, I have to go. I have to get the hell out of here."

"What? Wait. Where are you going? You can't just leave like that."

"No, I have to go. I don't know what came over me. It's like...I don't know. I'm sorry. Bye."

You grabbed me by my arm, slammed the door shut and threw me up against it. You dropped to your knees, pulled my pants down, threw my leg over your shoulder and went to town eating my pussy. I swear I saw the moment of creation while you ate away. You were rentless about letting me go. Even while my knees buckled, you held fast and eventually threw both of my legs over your shoulders. I was suspended in the air as your eat dinner and proved that I was worthy of dessert as well.

When you appetite was finally satisfied, you put me down, pulled my pants up and I ran out there. I could hear you laughing as I ran down the stairs like a mad woman. When I reached the last step, I looked back up at you and you said, "See you later. I'm sure you'll be back..."

...and then I woke up.

Sharing Fantasies: Part 2

Here is a link to Sharing Fantasies Part 1

"Hmmm, I like it when you are wet, Kim. I want you to play with your pussy." Marcus removed his black silk boxers as Kim continued to play with her pussy. Fingering her throbbing clit, she moaned as Marcus began stroking his manhood slowly. Both of them groaned in unison as Kim's breathing became heavier. "Are your nipples hard? Keep going baby" Marcus encouraged her. "Mmmmm, yes they are so hard...oh God! That feels so good!" Kim gently inserted two fingers in her wet pussy and asked "Are you stroking your dick, Marcus?" as she spread her legs wider."Yeah Kim, I am stroking my dick imagining its your hands making me feel so good." Kim's hand began moving faster and faster. She whispered "Give it to me! hmmmm...Oh God! I'm going to cum!" Hearing this, his manhood grew firmer as Marcus moved his clenched hand along the smooth chocolate shaft. "Cum for me Kim. Keep going. Keep going! Ohhhh!"

Kim began to feel warmth in her pelvic region and she knew her pent-up release was near. Hearing Marcus moan as he stroked his manhood did something to her and she went wild with passion, as her fingers became a blur, sliding easily in and out of her wetness. Marcus changed position moving onto his back. "Oh yes Kim. Keep going. Cum for me baby. you feel so good. Don't stop!" Kim's pussy pulsated as she reached her climax and her pleasure exploded against her wet sticky fingers."ohh yesss! Yes! Oh my God! ohhhhh!" She exclaimed. Marcus knew he was not far behind as the pressure and intensity of his dick stroking continued. "Baby, I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum!" Hot jets of white thick cum erupted from his aching manhood as he cried out "I'm Cumming, I'm Cumming!" He closed his eyes and kept stroking until the pleasure faded away. Reaching over he grabbed a towel and cleaned off his hand and his still hard dick. He quietly asked, "Kim, are you awake?" He heard only soft gentle breathing accented with soft snores. He smiled as he realized she was asleep. "Goodnight, I guess I put it on you tonight!" he said and hung up his cell phone and pulled the covers up and drifted off to sleep.

© 2005

Service for Two, Courses 1 - 4

Another private event, I know they're gonna expect lots of personal attention. Big events are much better, all guests want are their appetizers and an open bar. Shit, I'm here now, might as well earn my gas money.

When I arrived, Mrs. showed me where to hang up my coat and then I followed her to the kitchen. It was nice sized, I could tell they had some work done to it--all of the appliances were brand-spanking new and sparkly. She showed me the food the caterer had delivered, this is gonna be a very private event, it didn’t look like enough food for my family's Sunday dinner. Next she showed me the dining room and the table was exquisitely set...for two.

“Excuse me...exactly how many people am I serving this evening?”

“Its just me and my husband.”

She must’ve noticed the look on my face because she said, “Its okay, this is something we do every so often…we like to treat ourselves.” She smiled and gave me a wink.

This touched the romantic side of me. Why go to out to a fancy restaurant, spend money on gas, parking, mediocre service, okay food and no privacy, when for a few dollars more, you can have a better experience in the comfort of your own home. I bet they have a great relationship, like some of the couples I see in farmer's market on Saturday mornings, still holding hands after being together for years.

Back in the kitchen, Mrs. gives me the one direction for the evening, “when we’re ready to eat, we’ll ring the bell and that’s when you can bring the next course, don't come in unless you're called," she nods, I nod in response and she walks out. Is that it? Huh, that's all...really? Well, okay, I can do that, no fuss, no muss, plus there's a small tv in the kitchen so I'll watch between courses.

As I began unwrapping the food, Mr. came into the kitchen and introduced himself.

“Good evening, may I get you something?”

“No thank you, my wife asked me to let you know we’ll start with the amuse-bouche promptly at 7:30pm and from then on to wait for the bell.”

“Yes sir, wait for the bell.” What the hell is up with the freakin' bell?

He went their tabletop wine cellar and pulled out a 2005 Mouton Cadet. He began talking--I guess to me--as he unscrewed the cork.

“Mrs. bought one of those fancy wine openers, but I can’t use it. I prefer to just screw in and pull it out, if you know what I mean.” We both chuckled, him because he thought he was funny and me because I want a big tip. He took the wine into the dining room and I heard him place it in the wine chiller and then light the candles. Then I heard the music begin, it was a nice smooth joint, something I hadn’t heard before; I turned the tv on and got to switchin' in the kitchen.

He greeted her as she came into the dining room, he pulled out her chair and poured the wine. They were chittin’ & chattin’ away when I brought in the amuse-bouche at 7:30 on the nose.

They both said thank you and I disappeared into the kitchen. I decided to go ahead and pour the soup into the bowls cuz I knew the bell would be coming quick. I mean how long does it really take to eat an amuse-bouche? And sure enough, just as I had wiped off the rims of the bowls, I heard it. I immediately went out, cleared their places and then brought out the soup.

I plated the salad in case the soup course was as quick too, plus, its salad, it won’t get cold. I turned the tv up a smidge, careful not to be too loud. If I played this evening right, it could turn out to be a regular gig. Mrs. said they do this pretty regularly and a steady thing would be nice for the bank account. I heard the bell and went out, removing the soup bowls, placing the salads and offering dressing.

“Thank you, would you get another bottle of Mouton for us,” Mr. said.

“What year?”

“There’s another 2005 in there, get that.”

“Certainly, I’ll be right back.”

I returned with the open wine and was about to pour when he said, “No, I’ll do it, thank you.”

“Yes sir,” and I took the empty bottle to the kitchen with me. I knew the salad would take a minute to eat, so I began loading the dishwasher. I scooped the sorbet into martini glasses, covered them and put in the freezer--little trick I learned--to keep them from melting, wouldn't be good for it to be their second soup course. Between the dishes, prepping sorbets & watching tv, I lost of track of time, when I realized that 15 minutes had passed and I hadn’t heard the bell, the salad wasn't that big. I'm about to take a peek, when I heard the bell; I jumped, heehee. I went in to clear the salad plates and something was different; they were both looking intently at each other, with huge smiles on their faces. I cleared the table, uncovered the sorbets and served them. They were definitely having sex tonight, you could feel the sexual tension in the air.

I immediately plate the chicken, they're gonna finish the sorbet as quickly as the amuse-bouche. Okay, done and nothing, nothing and more nothing. What the hell is taking so long? Are they fucking on the dining room table? Shit, I bet they're gettin' busy on the table. I peek out and instantly get wet...her chair is away from the table, her head is hanging back and her blouse is open, he's on his knees in front of her with his arms around her waist, sucking her titties and she is rubbing her hands through his braids. She sees me, I duck back, heart pounding and embarrassed; why didn’t I wait for the damn bell. I hadn’t finished yelling at myself when I heard the fuckin' bell. I shook it off and went out.

Oh hell, he's back in his seat with his shirt off, revealing his perfectly shaped pecs, muscular arms and broad shoulders and his braids are totally disheveled. Then I see her, I really see her, she is topless; she is sitting at the dining room table with no blouse or bra, her perky nips are at full attention. They are sitting there as though this shit is normal. What the hell? Where am I? What have I gotten myself into, I gotta get out right-the-hell-now. Focus, keep it together; I have a job to do and I need this money. I’m so shaky, I almost drop the martini glasses...they giggle...oh hell. I come back with the chicken and they're still there, still topless.

"Bring another bottle of Mouton" and before I could ask, "it doesn't matter what year."

I grab the first bottle I see, open it and take it out. He reaches for it, so he can pour it. I get my ass back in the kitchen and drink some water, shit, I need real drink to get through tonight. Something tells me the drunker they get, the fewer clothes they'll keep on.

Option 1: leave now, forget the pay, the tip and the leftovers...fuck, then I gotta borrow money for rent

Option 2: get through this, get paid, get the tip and the leftovers...have hellafied story to tell grrrls tomorrow

1 or 2, stay or go, yes or no, up or down, right or left, salt or pepper...what the hell, focus, shit...option 2 it is.

Do I turn up the tv so I don't hear or do I turn down the tv in order to hear; they don't seem to mind me seeing, so listening should be no big deal. I turn it down and begin plating the salmon...this is better than listening to my roommate and her boyfriend:

"Is this how you like it Daddy?"

"You know it is baby"

"Daddy, now if you want it different this time, all you have to do is ask...k, Daddy?"

Then it got quiet, he was moaning and moaning. She must be giving him head. Damn, she must be doin' it right, cuz he is going crazy out there...you go grrlfriend, take care of your man...I ain't mad at you...shit, now I'm gettin' horny and wetter.

Just as I'm about to put the salmon in the oven to stay warm, the bell rings. Okay, you can do this, you're a professional, just don't look down. I take a deep breath and head for the dining room.

I go to clear the dishes and Mrs. says, "leave those for a second, I need your help with something."

Ohhhhhhhh damnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!! What does she need me for? They both sittin' there butt-butterball nekked, what can I do. They got this...I'm positive. "Yesss, how can I help?"

"I want you to kiss him."

"Huh?" I'm not breathing, this isn't good, I may faint if I don't start breathing.

"I want you to sit on his lap and kiss him."

"Huh?" My mind is racing a thousand miles an hour and yet I can't seem to keep a comprehensible thought in my fuckin' head.

I look at him, he's all smiles, and I can tell from his full-throttle manhood that he is more than willing to oblige her. I must still have a some strange look on my face because she stands up and gives me kiss on the cheek and gently guides me onto his lap. His manhood is pressing against my leg, his arms are holding me on his firm thighs and I lean into him and we begin kissing. This is some serious kissing; his full lips are soft and feel wonderful next to mine. I open my mouth slightly and his tongue makes a quick visit, then I open more and our tongues meet, its fantastic and I'm fully engaged. I'm rubbing his chest, shoulder, arm with one hand and stroking his braids with the other. And he's just as engaged, he begins moving his hand down my torso, my waist, my hips and then takes his hand under my skirt, his hand is so soft against my thigh. My panties are soaking wet and my nipples are now saluting him as he holds me closer. Then I notice something, someone else, Mrs., is massaging my shoulders. I don't do women; I don't roll like that...this is going too far.

I pull back, Mrs. leans in, "relax, its okay, keep going," and he pulls me to him, we begin kissing again and she reaches down, unbuttons my shirt and begins fondling my titties, first over my bra, then under it. I'm completely and utterly turned on by the two of them. He brings his hand between my legs and I spread them, giving him access to my pussy, he wastes no time in putting two fingers in me...I'm taken aback and give him a small orgasm. He takes out his fingers and gives them to HER to lick clean. I'm having an out-of-body experience.

Mrs. gently helps me off his lap, then straddles his dick with her back to him, and begins going up & down on it. After a few of strokes, I can tell its time for me to leave them and as I start to slowly back away, she grabs my wrist, pulls me closer and with her other hand puts 3 fingers in my pussy and begins fucking me in the same rhythm as shes rides Mr. I cum almost immediately. I have no idea what is going on, but this shit is working and working well.

Damn, I can't wait to bring out dessert.

What's size got to do with it?

Ladies, does size really matter?
We've all heard, "its not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean," usually said by a dude with small dick. Is it true? Has the equation of big hands + big feet = big dick stood the test of time? What about the guys who are hung like Dexter St. Jacques, dick swinging past their knees, can a dick be too big?

And for the fellas, can a woman be too tight or too loose?
I know several women who opted for C-sections to keep from stretching their pussies. I also know a woman who had hers "stitched up" to make it tighter after childbirth.

I'll start: Hell-to-the-yes, a dick can be too small! Many, many years ago, I remember a guy who was huffing, puffin' and sweating up a storm...I couldn't feel a fucking thing. I felt so bad for him, he was working really hard, so I faked one for him. Yeah, we didn't see each other much afterwards.

The Meet-up (part 3)

Its on now...

He turns me around and we kiss passionately, deeply...I run my hands through his dreads and his strong hands caress my back, undoing my bra and massaging me 'til I'm too relaxed to stand anymore. OMG, this is better than anything I could've imagined...he is so fucking sexy...this is going to be one to remember.

He leads us back into the room, without lips parting, bodies separating or anyone stumbling; we're floating. I gently bump against the bed and he stops kissing me. He pulls my blouse, camisole & bra over my head and begins kissing and sucking my breasts, going back & forth between them, as I work my jeans, panties and shoes off. Shit! His hand is massaging my pussy again. I begin to pull at his shirt; he stops touching me just long enough for me to pull the shirt over his head . Oh hell no! I will not have another one before he gets inside of me...I can't let him know he's hitting the right spots, in the right way. Shit Shannon, you're losing all cool points...oh damn...

All of a sudden, he stops EVERYTHING and looks me in the eye, "I didn't bring any condoms."

"Are you fucking kidding me, then you gotta go downstairs & get some," I blurt out, rolling my eyes. Then he cracks a sly smile and he sits me on the bed.

What the hell...oh shit, Shannon get up. I know you have not just laid down and spread your legs open for some unknown dick.
What the hell is the matter with you!?! Get up!!!!
Shhhh, I trust him, he'll do the right thing.
Dumb-ass bitch, famous last words.

Its a dream. A wonderful, delicious dream that I don't ever wanna wake up from.

The breeze is wafting over my body and I shiver ever so slightly. He looks at me in the moonlight and smiles. I smile back as he stands over me and I can see him, he is beautiful. His chocolate skin, kind eyes, broad shoulders, muscular arms, his too cute chin dimple, his dreads...I want to consume him; I want to be consumed by him.

He's pants are off and he's on top of and inside me in a flash. I let out a quiet moan and orgasm as soon as he penetrates. He looks me in the eyes as he moves in & out, saying my name, "Shannon" and its driving me crazy...shit, another one.

Being multi-orgasmic used to be fun, not tonight, my body is betraying me. Doing its own thing, giving into the atmosphere that envelopes it and the sensations that pulse through it. Dammit, I've lost control. Oh hell, did I ever really have it? Who cares, focus Shannon...shit, this is happ'ning right here, right now and its amazing!

He is looking at me...watching me...studying me...learning me with every stroke of his dick and every contraction of my pussy. "What are you looking at?"

"You, all of you."

He leans down and begins kissing me, I'm in heaven. This is what its supposed to be like...two people who care about each other, coming together as one, sharing the most intimate parts of themselves. I don't want this to ever end.

Oh no, here I go again, I have another orgasm, my biggest so far tonight. He seems to enjoy getting me off, thank goodness. What's up? Wait...why did he stop kissing me...why did he pull out? Oh shit, where is he going?

He gets up, stands at the foot of the bed, grabs my legs and flips me over. How did he know I like to be man-handled? Did he guess? Did I tell him? Damn, this is working for a sista.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! He pulls me onto my knees and goes into my pussy from behind. Oh my fucking goodness! I let out a loud moan & call his name several times. I have got to find a way to bottle this up and take it home. He strokes strong & steady for awhile, I've gotten a modicum of control, though I'm ready to explode...again.

Though I'm usually loud, I'm not making a lot noise and we aren't saying much. This is pure, nothing artificial or contrived...just the waves, the breeze, he and I.

I can't stand it anymore.
"Don't stop! I'm almost there."
"Ok baby, I'm here for you." "Good."
"Let it go Shannon, let it go." "Oh, ummm baby."
"Do it for me, come on Shannon you can do it."
And I let out a scream as I give him my best one yet.

He slowly backs out and I collapse. He lays down behind me and we spoon; he strokes my hair, this is fantastic. I wanna stay like this forever.

Hell Shannon, you don't even like to cuddle, why are you lettin' him get all up on you?
There are some times when I like to cuddle. Now shut up and lemme enjoy this moment.
You know he'll be leaving to go home to his wife soon enough. Don't you dare cry, keep it together....

I wanna fuck

I wanna fuck. Is that too damn much to ask for in 2009...shit!?!

I wanna be on my knees sucking his dick like my life depended on it, deep throating til he's ready to cum and I want him eatin' my pussy til I beg him to stop & fuck me.

I wanna wrap my legs around his waist and have his dick thrust in & out of my pussy. I want him tellin' me how good my pussy feels. I wanna get on my knees and be fucked from behind, while he grabs a handful of my hair, pulling my head back, asking me, "Do you like this dick?"

I wanna cum hard and often and sleep on the wet spot.

Shit, is there not one single, solitary man who can fuck me!?!

Thank You and Cum Again

Today was such a rough day at the office. Not only was my computer on the blitz, traffic was hell,I almost ran out of gas, but my iPod broke. My lovely, hot pink iPod. My toy that let sme escape the craziness of the office and get lost in music as I worked.

I guess you sensed my distress when you came over last night and I told you about my day. Your response was, "Damn". Then I told you about my iPod and you offered to take her home and see what you could do. For a week I rode to work in silence or listened to streaming music at work but it was nothing like my iPod. Not Pinky. She always had the perfect song or playlist for my mood and now, she was on vacation and I was stuck with nothing. A week had passed and I totally forgot that you had her. When you dropped by last night I didn't notice that you put her on my desk. Later that evening you asked, "Did you get your iPod? I brought her back". In a very tired tone I responded, "No. I guess you couldn't fix her after all, huh?" You handed her over and the screen lit up.

I screamed "My Pinky is back and working! Thank you thank you thank you!".

The smile on your face was classic. I know you get off on being the "knight in shiny armor" from time to time and I thought I needed to thank you properly for all that you did. You hung around for a little while longer, eating some dinner I cooked and watching tv as we chatted about our day. After you put the baby to bed, I knew I exactly how I was going to thank you. Now, most people would just say "thanks" or some will give you a piece of candy. I had a better treat up my sleeve that I knew you would love.

"Well, I guess I'll head home. I have class tomorrow night so I need to get into work early."

"Oh ok. Before you leave, come here."

You walk over to the love seat where I was sitting and I start unbuckling your pants. I looked up at you with a smirk and you knew exactly what was coming. I was surprised to see that you were already somewhat hard so that turned me on even more.

"Yuuuummmmm. I can't wait to taste this." And I took you completely into my mouth.

You were so into the deep throat action that I was giving you that didn't even remove your suit coat. I licked and teased the head of your dick just the way you like it. I sucked the whole thing in and let it hit the back of my throat just the way you like. I even swirled my tongue around it and sucked the way we both like it. By this point you were trickling cum and I was making sure a drop did not go to waste. I let a little of it dangle on the tip of my tongue and I looked up at you, getting more turned on by the look of bliss in your face.

I ran my hands up and down your legs, over your butt, and up your back. I unexpectedly grabbed your butt and pulled you in deeper. Deeper to the point that I was choking but I didn't care. If I was going to die, it would be like what the french call an orgasm le petit mort, or little death. You started running your fingers through my hair and guiding my head back and forth. Oh you now how much I like that. I actually started cumming as a result of that and that turned me on even more.

Your moaning alone got me so hot and bothered that I was tempted to ride you until the morning light but decided against it since this was about you. I felt your dick getting harder and harder, as your thrusts got harder and harder. Your balls were slamming against my chin and your cum was sliding down the back of my throat. Oh baby, I could even feel it starting to move through the veins in your dick. I wrapped my hand around your dick to delay your release just a little longer and it drove you mad!

You kept thrusting and I kept taking it all, not concerned with the fact that I was gagging. I massaged your balls and massaged the base of your dick with my knuckles when I knew you were about to cum.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!"

And then you exploded in my mouth. Oh you exploded with a force like no other. I held on to you for fear that you would fall to the ground since you were standing up the entire time. I sucked you dry, sure not to leave anything behind on your clothes, because remember, you were still in a full suit. Your pants were now around your ankles and you were trembling like a newborn baby. I swallowed all of your love juices, wiped my chin and kissed you on the cheek.

"Thanks for fixing Pinky."

"You're welcome. Damn that was great. Do you have anything else that needs to be fixed around here?"

I gave you a wink and said, "No, but I think I can break a couple of things for you later this week."

Friday Funnies - another one

My favorite comic playmate -- on my favorite subject: Da Dick!

Making Love or Fucking

A couple of days ago, I posted a poll and a tangent conversation began in the comments on the difference between making love and fucking. Nicki Nicki Tembo suggested, "fucking and making love is like the square/rectangle analogy. A square being a rectangle but a rectangle isn't a square. Making love is fucking but all fucking ain't making love." This is a good answer; it required me to think and I agree with it to an extent.

They are the same physically -- using the strictest definition of heterosexual co-mingling -- dick + pussy = sex, making love, fucking, banging, hittin' it, layin' da pipe, etc. Thus, if they are the same physically, then the difference is either mental or emotional. Ergo, whatever our perceptions of ourselves, our partner or our relationship at the time of the deed allows us to determine whether we are making love or fucking.

Agree, disagree....

Ya learn something new everyday... Mushroom Stamp

Anyone out there heard of this term before. I hadn't until I read this article. So I decided to look it up and here is the definition I found:

	when a male slaps his penis off the forehead of another individual, leaving a mushroom-shaped mark.

I don't understand how this could happen. Did you not see the dick coming towards your face. I mean most guys would have to be pretty close to you in order to slap you with their dick... unless of course they are this guy...lol

Too funny not to post...

Dude got burnt... and not by a chick... lmao!