You know how I roll...

I hate that I love you.
I'm pissed at myself for getting emotionally attached to you.
Most of all, I despise the fact that I will continue to feel violated when I'm with him.

You know how I roll...

he'll never know how each stroke is like a dagger into my pussy
he'll never know how I want to push him off of me & run into the shower, wishing I could wash inside myself
he'll never know that the last man to be inside of me is still inside of me, as well as in my heart, in my mind and in my soul
he'll never know his touch makes me want to recoil because they aren't your hands
he'll never know that when I close my eyes, I pretend it is you kissing me, your tongue probing my mouth
he'll never know that my orgasms come from memories of you
he'll never know how I long to share my bed, my home, my life with you
he'll never know how hard I have to concentrate to keep from yelling out your name
he'll never know the tears I cry at night as he fucks me
he'll never know anymore than I want him to know

...cuz that's how I roll.

Ummmm, last night

I walked into the bedroom.
I went over to the dresser.
I opened the drawer.
I pulled out my rabbit.
I put it on the nightstand.
I pulled the covers back.
I took off my pajama bottoms.
I let them drop to the floor.
I got in bed.
I pulled the covers up.
I reached out of bed to my right.
I grabbed my rabbit.
I got wet.
I brought it under the covers.
I opened my thighs.
I positioned my rabbit against my clit.
I moved the pillow from under my head.
I crossed my legs at the ankles
I flipped the switch.
I adjusted the setting.
I closed my eyes.
I contracted my thighs.
I heard him say my name.
I called out his name.
I grasped for air.
I arched my back.
I tugged at the sheets.
I heard it again, "Shannon," Shannon."
I felt his large hand around my throat.
I smelled the scent of our fluids mixing.
I tasted his magnificent kiss.
I opened my eyes for a moment.
I closed them again.
I convulsed under the covers.
I screamed into the pillow.
I came.

We came together.

The Meet-up (part 5)

"Huh?????"
I sit straight up...oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...what the fuck is he talking about.

I turn back around to him, "what are you talking about?" I look in his eyes for a clue, a sign, something, anything. Calm the hell down; you have no idea what he's talking about; don't get your hopes up.

"I can stay the whole weekend. I don't have to leave until Monday; we can spend the entire weekend together. This will be so good, baby." He has the biggest smile on his face. He pulls me down next to him, kisses me on my forehead and holds me close.

I wanna die. I thought this would be different; I thought he would be different; and worst of all, I thought I was different.

He falls asleep almost instantly. I gently slip away, put on my robe and go out on the balcony. I close the door behind me. As I look out, I see the moon's reflection on the water; I hear the waves landing on the shore and I smell the sweetness of the warm night. It begins with a tear, then crying and then full-on sobbing.

I feel like shit.
I swore I wouldn't do this anymore.
I promised myself to make better decisions from now on.
I walked into this with eyes wide open and I did it anyway.
What does this say about me?
What does this say about him?
Why would I want to be with him, he'll only do the same thing to me?
I should leave in the morning. I messed up, but I don't have to keep messing up.

All of a sudden I feel his arms wrap around my waist; he's comforting me. I turn around in his arms and look up at him. His eyes are red, full of water...he's crying too. We hold each other so close and so long that our hearts adjust to a single beating rhythm.

He whispers, "Shannon, my beautiful."

I can only imagine what I look like, I don't cry pretty at all. I'm an idiot; I've made such a mess of things. I pull away, walk into the room and sit on the bed.

He sits beside me, "I care about you so much...I can't stop thinking about you...I know what you want to hear, what you want me to say...I know..." I put my hand over his mouth.

"Stop, its not what I want you to do or say. It's what you want for yourself, for us."

He kneels in front of me, what in the world is he doing? He opens my legs and pulls me to the edge. I shouldn't let him, but I want him and I'll take him anyway I can get him. He unties my robe, puts his arms around my waist and puts his face into my pussy.

I lay back and revel in the experience. His tongue is flicking my clit and I'm immediately wet. He puts his mouth over me and begins tongue fucking me. I'm arching my back, moaning and squirming, so much that he has to hold my legs to keep me from falling off the bed. Its fuckin' magnificent; he is alternately sucking my juices and tongue fucking me. My body goes is limp. He lifts his head and begins fucking me with two fingers. I'm lost, I don't know if I'm coming or going; I lose track of time and space; it is just he and I.

After another two orgasms, he gets up and pulls me on his dick. He is looking at me and thrusting in and out with with the passion of our first time and the energy of our second time. I'm breathing hard...my eyes roll back in my head, my body convulses and I see stars.

He gently pushes me up on the bed; I'm spent...I can't speak, I can't think, I can't move. The last thing I remember is him pulling the covers on me and kissing my cheek.

When I woke up, he was gone.

What happens between he and Shannon is up to you...is he gone forever, does he leave his wife for Shannon, do they continue a tawdry affair, do they struggle to maintain an awkward friendship? Let me know how the story goes.

The Meet-up (part 3)

Its on now...

He turns me around and we kiss passionately, deeply...I run my hands through his dreads and his strong hands caress my back, undoing my bra and massaging me 'til I'm too relaxed to stand anymore. OMG, this is better than anything I could've imagined...he is so fucking sexy...this is going to be one to remember.

He leads us back into the room, without lips parting, bodies separating or anyone stumbling; we're floating. I gently bump against the bed and he stops kissing me. He pulls my blouse, camisole & bra over my head and begins kissing and sucking my breasts, going back & forth between them, as I work my jeans, panties and shoes off. Shit! His hand is massaging my pussy again. I begin to pull at his shirt; he stops touching me just long enough for me to pull the shirt over his head . Oh hell no! I will not have another one before he gets inside of me...I can't let him know he's hitting the right spots, in the right way. Shit Shannon, you're losing all cool points...oh damn...

All of a sudden, he stops EVERYTHING and looks me in the eye, "I didn't bring any condoms."

"Are you fucking kidding me, then you gotta go downstairs & get some," I blurt out, rolling my eyes. Then he cracks a sly smile and he sits me on the bed.

What the hell...oh shit, Shannon get up. I know you have not just laid down and spread your legs open for some unknown dick.
What the hell is the matter with you!?! Get up!!!!
Shhhh, I trust him, he'll do the right thing.
Dumb-ass bitch, famous last words.

Its a dream. A wonderful, delicious dream that I don't ever wanna wake up from.

The breeze is wafting over my body and I shiver ever so slightly. He looks at me in the moonlight and smiles. I smile back as he stands over me and I can see him, he is beautiful. His chocolate skin, kind eyes, broad shoulders, muscular arms, his too cute chin dimple, his dreads...I want to consume him; I want to be consumed by him.

He's pants are off and he's on top of and inside me in a flash. I let out a quiet moan and orgasm as soon as he penetrates. He looks me in the eyes as he moves in & out, saying my name, "Shannon" and its driving me crazy...shit, another one.

Being multi-orgasmic used to be fun, not tonight, my body is betraying me. Doing its own thing, giving into the atmosphere that envelopes it and the sensations that pulse through it. Dammit, I've lost control. Oh hell, did I ever really have it? Who cares, focus Shannon...shit, this is happ'ning right here, right now and its amazing!

He is looking at me...watching me...studying me...learning me with every stroke of his dick and every contraction of my pussy. "What are you looking at?"

"You, all of you."

He leans down and begins kissing me, I'm in heaven. This is what its supposed to be like...two people who care about each other, coming together as one, sharing the most intimate parts of themselves. I don't want this to ever end.

Oh no, here I go again, I have another orgasm, my biggest so far tonight. He seems to enjoy getting me off, thank goodness. What's up? Wait...why did he stop kissing me...why did he pull out? Oh shit, where is he going?

He gets up, stands at the foot of the bed, grabs my legs and flips me over. How did he know I like to be man-handled? Did he guess? Did I tell him? Damn, this is working for a sista.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! He pulls me onto my knees and goes into my pussy from behind. Oh my fucking goodness! I let out a loud moan & call his name several times. I have got to find a way to bottle this up and take it home. He strokes strong & steady for awhile, I've gotten a modicum of control, though I'm ready to explode...again.

Though I'm usually loud, I'm not making a lot noise and we aren't saying much. This is pure, nothing artificial or contrived...just the waves, the breeze, he and I.

I can't stand it anymore.
"Don't stop! I'm almost there."
"Ok baby, I'm here for you." "Good."
"Let it go Shannon, let it go." "Oh, ummm baby."
"Do it for me, come on Shannon you can do it."
And I let out a scream as I give him my best one yet.

He slowly backs out and I collapse. He lays down behind me and we spoon; he strokes my hair, this is fantastic. I wanna stay like this forever.

Hell Shannon, you don't even like to cuddle, why are you lettin' him get all up on you?
There are some times when I like to cuddle. Now shut up and lemme enjoy this moment.
You know he'll be leaving to go home to his wife soon enough. Don't you dare cry, keep it together....

I want to have sex

I want to have sex...

with a man,
a tall, intelligent, humorous, kind, well-spoken man

in a bed,
that has been freshly made with a new set of 600-count Egyptian cotton sheets

on a cold day,
in front of a roaring and crackling fireplace

when the rain is beating against the window,
to the beat of our hearts

while listening to soulful, sultry sounds.
and having him whisper naughty things in my ear

No need to say anymore on the subject.