Bad Sex

I had bad sex this morning, and I don't mean the kind where bad equates to good, I mean bad as in sucks-ass.

As some of you know, its been a minute (or 2 or 3) since I've had any. Even my birthday sex (Nov. 8th) left a lot to be desired because the asshole forgot to bring condoms (responsibility is for another post). Since then, its been me and my vibrators gettin' busy, which is fine as it gets the job done.

Last week I received a text message from an ex saying he wanted some pussy and I said sure. Our schedules finally synced and he came over this morning. Let me say here, our sex life was never lacking for creativity, spontaneity, passion, etc., he's an ex because he has FIVE children and FOUR babies mamas (that drama is for another post as well).

Back to this morning, he arrives and I'm ready. Teeth brushed, hair combed, everything is clean and I'm sooooo horny I can barely stand it. We get upstairs and get under the covers. He begins with the frickin' small talk, his son this, his daughter that, his job, and more yada, yada, yada. Eventually I begin kissing him so we can get started. The foreplay is going along, suck here, nibble there, caress/squeeze everywhere and I'm wet and ready for kick-off, enough of the pre-game show.

He puts on the condom, gets on top & in me, takes 10 strokes, LITERALLY, 10 strokes then he cums. I was just getting my rhythm and he's fucking done. Quickies aren't usually a problem for me, I can get my mind where it needs to be and orgasm pretty fast; however, this goes in the damn Guinness Book of quickies. I was so pissed-off I could barely see straight. I went up one side of his lame ass and down the other, calling him everything I could think of and even making up some new stuff. His response, "Sorry, it's been a while AND you were so wet, I couldn't help it."

What the fuck!?!

So, this is for the gentlemen, have you ever been so excited, aroused, turned-on, horny, whateva, that you couldn't wait 10 damn minutes for your partner to get close to gettin' hers as well? I don't mean stroking for hour, but can't you give us a few minutes to at least get comfortable? Shit, why can't y'all control yourselves?

Epilogue: We won't be seeing each other any more.