FOX SEX REPORT: SECRETS OF ROCK STAR SEX

We now have the secrets to optimal sex. It doesn’t involve Viagra, sex toys, rock hard erections, having the perfect body, or a particular position, technique or novelty.

That’s right — you don’t have to shake up your routine, buy another vibrating gadget, lose weight, pop a pill, or master Kama Sutra-style sexual gymnastics for spectacular sex.
Knowing what constitutes super sex is the first step in realizing it. It turns out we may have a lot to learn from our elders when it comes to the most satisfying sex. Those who have been “doing it” for a quarter century or more hold the eight keys to realizing memorable, fulfilling, amazing sex.

Recent research in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that the best sex comes with relationships as they become more mature. Participants, namely married couples over the age 60, reported the following components as significantly contributing to rock star sex:

1. Being present, focused and embodied. Reported more than any other factor is the need for lovers to be completely absorbed in the moment, feeling completely merged in one another.
2. Connection, alignment and being in sync. The depth of connection is critical to the experience, with lovers becoming one and synchronous as their energies align.
3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy. With intimacy the foundation of the relationship, the components of intimacy lend themselves to optimal sex. These include caring, deep mutual respect, admiration, and true acceptance of one another.
4. Extraordinary communication and heightened empathy. Lovers realizing optimal sex are able to read their partner’s bodily responses, truly feeling them. They also listen in both verbal and non-verbal ways, picking up on little things and being sensitive in every way.
5. Authenticity, being genuine and uninhibited, transparency. Participants reported the ability to become emotionally naked, share freely, and feel unselfconscious with their lover as critical to having better sex.
6. Vulnerability and surrender. Lovers have a willingness to expose themselves, to truly be seen. In putting themselves in another’s hands, they relinquish themselves, ultimately penetrating each other’s souls.
7. Bliss, transformation and healing. Optimal sex is an exalted, soulful, timeless state of awe and ecstasy.
8. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking and fun. Sex is an adventure, with lovers becoming explorers as lovemaking becomes one of discovery. Such is complemented by unleashing one’s sense of humor and laughter.

So what does all of this mean?
— Despite reaching climax, you could still be having lousy sex. You can, on the other hand, have exceptional sex without orgasm.
— Sexual ecstasy is not about physiological functioning or technical talent. It’s about feeling fully alive and in the moment — mind, body, and soul.
— Sex gets better with sexual experience and knowing your partner, with the most desirable sex coming from within and, yes, even with age.
— You can still have optimal sex despite being elderly, chronically ill or disabled.
— Optimal sex is how you define it, with your mind set and intent important in becoming sexually gratified.

Researchers further noted that better sex comes with slower, less goal-oriented lovemaking, sex that isn’t all about “achieving” orgasm. Contrary to popular messages in the media, you can be mechanically skilled and sexually functioning, but not necessarily having super sex.
While we’ve been told that “optimal” sex involves reaching a state of sexual perfection, it’s actually a sexual experience different from your average, positive sexual liaison. Yet the unrealistic expectations we’ve been spoon-fed around factors like technique are trumping many lovers’ efforts.

If you buy into magazine headlines and articles promising quick fixes and maximum results, you will ultimately feel anxiety, shame, guilt, and insecurity in being unable to have the type of stellar sex you are “supposed” to be having.

As the study’s researchers wrote, those with fulfilling sex lives “have learned to ignore conventional performance expectations in order to listen to and take responsibility for their own hearts’ desires.” If you want satisfying sex, make sure that “those” includes you.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

BEYOND THE FANTASY: REAL SEX FOR REAL WOMEN

Dr. Berman's latest book is your bedside guide to a lifetime of sexual satisfaction. No supermodel fakery, impossible positions, or unattainable expectations. Just real, enjoyable, fulfilling, great sex — whatever your age, whatever your lifestyle — for you, for life.

A POLL: DO YOU KNOW YOUR HIV STATUS?

Terms & Words that insult my PussIntelligence!

I know there are a few shadow-dancing lurkers who are fascinated by, but uncomfortable with, or downright disgusted by our flagrant use of PUSSY. Well, below are a few words & terms I have issues with.

It Sucks -or- U Cock-sucker: For many of us this is a wonderfully engaging & intimate activity ... the fact that these are used to describe an undesirable thing baffles me. I DO understand that no one wants their business yelled in the streets (hence, the insult of public usage of cock-sucker), but that can be solved by only engaging with discretionary partners who will lovingly call u a cock-sucker or tell u that u suck while u DO so: as in "U sexy muthaphuckin' cock-sucker" - or- "Oooh baby! U suh- uck...." all just prior to tremblin' of course;-)

This Blows: see above;-)

You're such a Pussy or a Dick: I have a Pussy that I love DEARLY! I've yet to meet a Dick that I hate (now, sum Dicks are more appealing & agreeable than others - but they're all cute at the very least;-). Again, I am baffled that these are terms used as insults.

Wife-Beater: I just learned this in 2000. I remember when I first heard it I was like "What is she talking about?" Wife-beaters were undesirable fat slobs. We called the shirts Tank Tops & I'm pretty sure that's what the packaging states when you purchase them. I refuse to use that term! As a visual person, the imagery alone is awful!

Any Terminology U disagree with or just don't GET?

P.S.
While we are partners I take full Grown Woman responsibility for my own posts & thoughts. My opinions are mine: in no way do I speak for Sistah Babz, so don't throw tomatoes at her if U disagree with me;-).

Click image to enlarge & see source.

Tuesday's Healthy Tootie Treat #2

My apologies on missing last week's Healthy Tootie Treat. Started my new gig, so I was a li'l distracted and preoccupied;-).

Speaking of WORKING - a treat for our Tooties is for us to be WORKING OUT regularly! I work on the 6th Floor at my new job & the elevator's slow so, I've been taking the stairs most of the time. Gotta turn this gluteus maximus into gluteus high & tightemus;-)! In addition to exercises that benefit the entire body make sure you do your Kegels, Sistahs! You may even want to try using "weights" or tools such as Ben Wa Balls or a Kegelmaster when you practice your Kegels.

Our PlayMates need to do Kegels as well (it helps them to keep UP;-)! Check out Kegels for Men. Obviously, the Kegel exercise will improve our intimate moments - but I was surprised to learn that they will also ease back problems and several other issues.

Kegels: Does a Body (or two;-) Good!

Feel Free to add suggestions or testimonies in the comments;-).

Click to Read the Premiere Tuesday Feature on Taking Care of the Tootie!

Click on image for source & one place to purchase Ben Wa Balls.

When Moisture Hurts...

As each day passes here at the P-Chats, what once could have been titled a Vagina Monologue for most of us, has become an ever more in-depth dialogue which I have been so gratified to see has not been limited only to those who were blessed to be born with vaginas. I have been thrilled by the expansion of these chats to include those who though they don't themselves possess pussies as part of their personal anatomy, love and respect vaginas all the same.

In keeping with the new theme of Tuesdays on this site and in celebration of the advent of summer, I thought I would add an additional tidbit regarding the care and upkeep of healthy pussies. As many of you with pussies may already know, summer can be both friend and foe to the healthy pussy. When coupled with the mishap of synthetic fibers, excessive moisture from external sources (pools/jacuzzis) and/or internal sources (infections/lubricants), and foreign substances such as perfumes, frangrances, and other chemicals, pussies can really find themselves worse off for the wear.

Thus, it is extremely important that we all become cognizant of the fact that as in most areas of our lives merchants in pursuit of the all-mighty dollar do NOT necessarily have the best interests of our pussies at heart. Now let me be clear when I say that I am a Victoria's Secret-loving sistah from waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy back! However, during the heat of the summer, I make it a point to steer clear of Vicky's synthetic tricks (which is what you see hawked in all her ads), and find my way over to the cotton staples to keep my little piece of paradise breathing nice and easy. Additionally, there are a myriad of other lingerie manufacturers out there willing to assist us in our quest to have healthy pussies including the one who makes the lovely, multi-tasking panties shown above which deliver such a helpful and healthful message to interested parties in addition to providing our pussies with an ideal environment. Click here for more information on where/how to purchase these must haves!

Additionally, y'all know me to be a "boudoir babe" who loves her some smell goods. Even so, during the sweltering heat and increased humidity of the summer months, it becomes tre importante to avoid adding too many ingredients into the mix as doing so may risk the very delicate chemical balance that our pussies require to thrive. So a word to the wise is to limit the use of products, soaps, shower gels, and even condoms which contain heavy perfumes or lubricants and if you simply must use them, take care that you are not overdoing it or allowing for prolonged exposure to sensitive areas.

The fact of the matter is that much like the concept that only processed hair can be beautiful has gone the way of the dinosaur, so has the idea that if it ain't satin, it ain't sexy. Cotton breathes, cotton minimizes moisture (the bad kind...not the good stuff from inside ;), and COTTON CAN BE SEXY!!! Scents without question can be aphrodisiacs, but I ask you, what scent is more heady than the natural musk the female of the species gives off in the presence of the male of the species (or female for that matter...whatever floats your vagina ;) to whom she feels an attraction?

So as grown ass women who have a healthy love and respect for ourselves and our pussies, let's all plan to define sexy for ourselves this summer and in the process, make our pussies breathe easier and flourish in an environment made for love!

Tuesdays: Healthy Treats for Our Tooties!

Now, U know we looove Pussies and the greatest love of all is ACTION;-). In order to fully enjoy sensual action we've gotta take action to treat our tooties well! Each Tuesday we'll explore healthy treats here at The Pussy Chats. We continue to encourage our contributors to share when the mood hits them - now, we ask that your Tuesday shares be PC - no, not politically correct - Pussy Care-centric.

Since Summer's here & it's a time that most of us get Flirty & Fancy-Free, this first week of Tuesday Tootie Treats I'm putting one of our sidebars (ALL Real Pussies Plan 2 Play Safely) on Front Street:

STDs, HIV & Safer Sex:

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are caused by sexually transmitted infections. They are passed from one person to another during sexual or intimate contact. Sexually transmitted infections are very common. More than half of all of us will get one at some time in our lives.

Sexually transmitted infections may or may not cause symptoms. Medically, an infection is called a disease only when it is causing symptoms. But it’s very common for people to use the terms "sexually transmitted diseases" or "STDs," whether or not symptoms are present.

Reading about the different kinds of STDs can be helpful, whether you may have an STD or are just curious about STDs. Use the list below to find out about each kind of STD.

• Chlamydia
• Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
• Gonorrhea
• Hepatitis B
• Herpes
• HIV/AIDS
• HPV & Genital Warts
• Intestinal Parasites
• Molluscum Contagiosum
• Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)
• Pubic Lice
• Scabies
• Syphilis
• Trichomoniasis

Most of us want to protect ourselves and each other from STDs. Practicing safer sex allows us to reduce our risk of sexually transmitted diseases. And if we’ve done anything that puts us at risk of infection, getting tested allows us to get any treatments we may need.

The caring staff at your local Planned Parenthood health center can talk with you about STDs and help you get any testing or treatment you may need.

Published: 02.21.08 by Planned Parenthood.

Now, Go on & have a Positively Pussy Lovin' SUMMER filled with Fabulousness! ;-).

AND Feel Free to share Pussy Pampering tips in the comments, too. How do U best care for your pussy -or- encourage the pussy in your life to be cared for? Do ya still douche (I've read that it causes more harm than good), get your check ups routinely, etc.? Alright, Pussies - be Proud of being high maintenance in ONE area of your life;-). After all that talk last week about eating out - gotta make sure she's RIGHT & READY;-).

*click image for source.

I Love Pussy

I’ve spent my entire adult life studying Pussy. Even as a youngster, my fascination with Pussy made me very different from other boys. I was exposed to Pussy at a very early age, and the way it happened wasn’t very good. I was only 5 years old and it left me feeling scared and traumatized. 3 years later, when I was again used for the sexual gratification of an older female, I was left feeling inadequate. I’ve heard of many boys going through similar abuse, becoming sexually confused and ultimately going gay. Not me. The way my brain works, I just saw it as a challenge. At age 8, I decided that I would grow up to be the greatest lover in the world. But I was scared to death of the power of the Pussy. I realized that if I was ever to face Pussy again and stand any chance of cuming out on top (pun intended,) I needed knowledge. So I was that kid in Sex Ed who sat in front and shushed the class when they started to giggle when the teacher said “vagina”. Even today, I still get annoyed when adults giggle at the slightest sexual reference in a presentation. Sex to me is very serious business. So I read everything from Masters and Johnson to Xaviera Hollander. I studied anatomy, psychology, pornography, romantic comedies, massage, kama sutra, aromatherapy, tantra, you name it, everything and anything that would give me some insight into Pussy. Finally, at age 19, I was ready for battle.

Sadly, I took the analogy of conquest literally. I practiced techniques that up until then had only been theory and developed new techniques of my own. I was so successful that in the end, I left piles of quivering flesh in my wake, scores of notches in my belt, my phone ringing off the hook with booty call requests, yet alone because I was unable to achieve any real intimacy. My story is told in my book Lovers Anonymous.

Finally I saw the light and over the past 12 years, I’ve been getting reacquainted with Pussy. I’m very happy and enjoy a healthy relationship with Pussy. Pussy doesn’t just comfort me, it undoes the damage I did to myself and restores me to positive manhood. Pussy is my best friend. Women have always been drawn to me and my power, as much I have been drawn to them and theirs. But today I celebrate Pussy. My contribution to this blog will center on my love, respect, and admiration of all things Pussy. So who am I? Just a man who loves "his" Pussy.

Peace and Love,

Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)

Text and Photo: Copyright © 2008 Xavier Pierre Jr. All rights reserved.

Vulgarity and the Pussy

(This post is only suitable for adults and contains nasty language. Please click out if you are easily offended)

Thank-you to the delightful sisters Lovebabz and Capcity for inviting an Aussie girl over to help make this pussy palace as warm and silky as our cha-cha's.

I started thinking about vagina's while watching the nightly news and contemplated shaving my jungle-jane but instead decided to jump up and write something right now to embrace our womanhood and invite our brothers and sisters to lap up the goodness that our pussy brings.

Vagina is just one word that has been used over the years of time to appropriately label our love-cave. Pussy is embraced here and for the purposes of this post, I'd like to use the word 'cunt.'

yes, cunt or "The C-Word" It's probably one of the most taboo words of our time but interestingly enough the word 'cunt' has a history. Some of it positive towards women, some of it negative towards women but a history it has.

The word 'cunt' has been deemed one of the 'seven dirty words' back in 1972 by comedian George Carlin in Wisconsin. Other words include f*ck, motherf*ucker, piss, shit, c*ocksucker and tits. I think we'd all agree that those words are not the words we want our children to be saying just before they kiss you good night.

Cunt generally is used to describe a disgraceful person whether it's a he or a she. In an Australia dictionery, it says 'a despicable man' however, the word cunt goes back as far as the late nineteenth century.

Uses of the word cunt in history include a street in London back in 1920 known as "Grope cunt Lane" a popular prostitution lane and there has been some radical feminists that say that the word reduces a woman to a 'body part.' Despite criticisms, some feminists over the years including our own Eve Ensler "Vagina Monologues" have been trying to 'Reclaim our Cunt' in a positive, honorific sense of the word. Greer has published a book titled Lady, Love your Cunt'

In modern times James Joyce was the first to use the word 'cunt' in print with "..the oldest people. Wandered far away over all the earth, captivity to captivity, multiplying, dying, being born everywhere. It lay there now. Now it could bear no more. Dead: an old woman's: the grey sunken cunt of the world" from Ulysses, describing the Dead Sea.

Henry Miller used the word in his writings and Ian McEwen wrote the word in a letter in the book and movie "Atonement" seen on our screens in 2007.

In film, we might remember Jack Nicholson describing Nurse Ratched as 'something of a cunt' to his doctor and in a USA Supreme Court, the prosecution used it in defence of a rape case between a footballer In the rape case, a CU football player had allegedly called female player Katie Hindie a "fucking lovely cunt", but it was meant as a pleasantry.

The word 'cunt' here in Australia is used to describe inanimate objects as well. (We're a creative lazy bunch) Indeed, I've leaned over the bonnet (hood) of a few vehicles to hear a man say 'the fuckin' cunt won't start' and although a bit taken aback being the lady I am, I certainly knew he was not referring to my moist private part.

There has been many occurances on TV and film across the globe where 'cunt' has been used, including Sex in the City, Jane Fonda (Today) and other occurances.

Probably my favourite is when lead singer of Aussie group Powderfinger said "They say you are what you eat. I'm a cunt" on national TV.

So I ask you: what do you think of the word 'cunt?'

Do you use the word at all? In sex? 'oh, honey I love your cunt?"

Would your female partner belt you across the face if you did? Do you use the word 'pussy' in your talk with the boys? Or do you say it at all?

Do you use 'Cleaning Up National Television" or 'C U Next Tuesday?' in place of it?

C'mon, spill.

Lots of love from Australia,
Miss Smack